We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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