He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
