You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Still dying that you shit outside
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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