Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize