Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The dick lei will go down in squad history
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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