Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
