Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
