Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

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(818): View more from California

...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.

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(518): View more from New York

Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.

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(303): View more from Colorado

This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.

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