Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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