I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize