Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
