Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
