The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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