so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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