sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
