Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize