But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
