The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
