Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it's like heaven, but drunker
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
