I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
