Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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