even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
