Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
