I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
