singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
