he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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