our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
