I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize