dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
