i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
