All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this just has baby written all over it
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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