So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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