His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
