I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize