Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
