i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
