did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
