My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
