i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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