Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
