She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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