the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
