no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
