it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
