yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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