you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
