hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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