hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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