Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
