ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
