Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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