I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
