What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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