Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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