Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
