My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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