i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
